So, we've been focusing on social skills for the past few weeks: we've talked about the children, their families, making friends, and had a wonderful lady from IY Dina reinforcing rules and calm-down strategies. The honeymoon period is definitely over and children are starting to test limits. Today, one of our more aggressive children (Boy #1) attacked two others, so one of them (Boy #2) scratched him back. Of course in my mind, I thought "Yay! He finally got stood up to!" but it ended up triggering a meltdown for Boy#1 that lasted about 20 minutes. Keep in mind this boy was saying some very negative stuff within earshot of Boy#2. While this was going on, the third boy involved(Boy #3) came up to me and asked, "Can I go ask him why he did that to me? We didn't do anything to him." I said, "I love that you want to do that! He's upset right now, so maybe later." To be honest, I was hoping he'd forget about it because I was worried he'd get hurt.
Now, we've all been taught that time-out only needs to last a few minutes because children can't remember what they've done. They have the attention spans of gnats and incidents are quickly forgotten. This didn't apply to my kids. Boy #1 kept saying things about Boy#2 through naptime, a good two hours, until he finally went to sleep. Finally, after naptime was over, it was time for me to go to lunch.
When I got back, my assistant told me this: Boy#3 asked Boy#1 why he'd done those things. Boy#1 said it was because he was mad and asked Boy#2 why he'd scratched him. It turned into an entire civil conversation, with no other fists involved. They played together the rest of the afternoon.
So, I apologize. When it comes to your kids, don't underestimate them because they might be capable of more than you think.
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